Here are my top 75 programming quotes of all time:

  1. “Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.” – Martin Fowler
  2. “Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.” – Michael Sinz
  3. “Deleted code is debugged code.” – Jeff Sickel
  4. “The best error message is the one that never shows up.” – Thomas Fuchs
  5. “In some ways, programming is like painting. You start with a blank canvas and certain basic raw materials. You use a combination of science, art, and craft to determine what to do with them.” – Andrew Hunt
  6. “The only way to learn a new programming language is by writing programs in it.” – Dennis Ritchie
  7. “Programming isn’t about what you know; it’s about what you can figure out.” – Chris Pine
  8. “Programmers are not to be measured by their ingenuity and their logic but by the completeness of their case analysis.” ― Alan J. Perlis
  9. “One man’s crappy software is another man’s full-time job.” – Jessica Gaston
  10. “Commenting your code is like cleaning your bathroom – you never want to do it, but it really does create a more pleasant experience for you and your guests.” — Ryan Campbell
  11. “Programming went back to the beginning of time. It was a little like the midden out back of his father’s castle.” ― Vernor Vinge
  12. “When someone says: ‘I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done’, give him a lollipop.” – Alan J. Perlis
  13. “We salute the coders, designers, and programmers already hard at work at their desks, and we encourage every student who can’t decide whether to take that computer science class to give it a try.” — Michael Bloomberg
  14. “Java is to JavaScript what car is to Carpet.” – Chris Heilmann
  15. ” Simplicity is the soul of efficiency.” – Austin Freeman
  16. “Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable.” – Ralph Johnson
  17. “Make it work, make it right, make it fast.” – Kent Beck
  18. “The evolution of languages: FORTRAN is a non-typed language. C is a weakly typed language. Ada is a strongly typed language. C++ is a strongly hyped language.” – Ron Sercely
  19. “Good design adds value faster than it adds cost.” – Thomas C. Gale
  20. “Python’s a drop-in replacement for BASIC in the sense that Optimus Prime is a drop-in replacement for a truck.” – Cory Dodt
  21. “Talk is cheap. Show me the code.” – Linus Torvalds
  22. “Perfection [in design] is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
  23. “C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success.” – Dennis M. Ritchie.
  24. “In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they’re not.” – Yoggi Berra
  25. “You can’t have great software without a great team, and most software teams behave like dysfunctional families.” – Jim McCarthy
  26. “PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals.” – Jon Ribbens
  27. “I didn’t get trained by the school system like other kids, and when I did concentrate on learning, my mind was cluttered and locked by the programming of the system.” – Huey Newton
  28. “Learning to program has no more to do with designing interactive software than learning to touch type has to do with writing poetry” – Ted Nelson
  29. “The best programmers are not marginally better than merely good ones. They are an order-of-magnitude better, measured by whatever standard: conceptual creativity, speed, ingenuity of design, or problem-solving ability.” – Randall E. Stross
  30. “If McDonalds were run like a software company, one out of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and the response would be, ‘We’re sorry, here’s a coupon for two more.’  – Mark Minasi
  31. “Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.” – Donald E. Knuth.
  32. “Computer system analysis is like child-rearing; you can do grievous damage, but you cannot ensure success.” – Tom DeMarco
  33. “I don’t care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!” – Vidiu Platon.
  34. “Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.” – Christopher Thompson
  35. “Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.” – Bill Gates
  36. “Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.” – Brian W. Kernighan.
  37. “People think that computer science is the art of geniuses but the actual reality is the opposite, just many people doing things that build on each other, like a wall of mini stones.” – Donald Knuth
  38. “What is Oracle? A bunch of people. And all of our products were just ideas in the heads of those people – ideas that people typed into a computer, tested, and that turned out to be the best idea for a database or for a programming language.” – Larry Ellison
  39. “Some of the best programming is done on paper, really. Putting it into the computer is just a minor detail.” ― Max Kanat-Alexander
  40. “It’s all talk until the code runs.” — Ward Cunningham
  41. “Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.”- Bill Gates
  42. “If you want to set off and go develop some grand new thing, you don’t need millions of dollars of capitalization. You need enough pizza and Diet Coke to stick in your refrigerator, a cheap PC to work on and the dedication to go through with it.” — John Carmack
  43. “Programming isn’t about what you know; i’s about what you can figure out.” – Chris Pine
  44. “Programming is like kicking yourself in the face, sooner or later your nose will bleed.” – Kyle Woodbury
  45. “Perl – The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.” – Keith Bostic
  46. “It is easier to port a shell than a shell script.” – Larry Wall
  47. “I invented the term ‘Object-Oriented’, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.” – Alan Kay
  48. “Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.” – Martin Golding
  49. “There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.” – C.A.R. Hoare
  50. “I don’t care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine.” – Vidiu Platon
  51. “On the back end, software programming tools and Internet-based services make it easy to launch new global software-powered start-ups in many industries – without the need to invest in new infrastructure and train new employees.” – Marc Andreessen
  52. “First learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just hack.” – George Carrette
  53. “I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.” – Bjarne Stroustrup
  54. “Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert painter.” – Eric S. Raymond
  55. “Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job.” – Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering
  56. “I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing.” – Oktal
  57. “Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a programming language should be like. But Java applications are good examples of what applications SHOULDN’T be like.” – pixadel
  58. “Considering the current sad state of our computer programs, software development is clearly still a black art, and cannot yet be called an engineering discipline.” – Bill Clinton
  59. “Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris.” – Larry Wall
  60. “The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be regarded as a criminal offense.” – E.W. Dijkstra
  61. “In the one and only true way. The object-oriented version of ‘Spaghetti code’ is, of course, ‘Lasagna code’. (Too many layers).” – Roberto Waltman.
  62. “FORTRAN is not a flower but a weed — it is hardy, occasionally blooms, and grows in every computer.” – Alan J. Perlis.
  63. “For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless. And then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match.” – Bill Bryson
  64. “In My Egotistical Opinion, most people’s C programs should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt.” – Blair P. Houghton.
  65. “Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.” – Alan Kay
  66. “The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late.” – Seymour Cray
  67. “To iterate is human, to recurse divine.” – L. Peter Deutsch
  68. “On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament]: ‘Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?’ I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.” – Charles Babbage
  69. “Most good programmers do programming not because they expect to get paid or get adulation by the public, but because it is fun to program.” – Linus Torvalds
  70. “Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.” – Rick Cook
  71. “Lisp isn’t a language, it’s a building material.” – Alan Kay
  72. “Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.”- Edward V Berard
  73. “They don’t make bugs like Bunny anymore.” – Olav Mjelde
  74. “A programming language is low level when its programs require attention to the irrelevant.” – Alan J. Perlis
  75. “A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance floor by people carrying razors.” – Waldi Ravens

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